Happy Father's Day 2012

They don't make wicker hats like this any more. 

Russ at 71

We all miss Russ terribly, especially today, which would have been his 71st birthday.

Last year we sent out a request for whatever memories people would like to share with us and were astounded by the many wonderful stories we received. We hope that you will take a moment to look at a few of them here below. And if there is anything more you would like to share, please send it to: russmemories@gmail.com

Thanks,
The Francisco Family

Photos of Russ

Tiki torches and good advice

It was at the annual Mexican party hosted by our nextdoor neighbors that I fell in love with my wife. She was visiting my family from Sweden for a few days but would soon be heading back home. It was my father's doing that got me to a make the first move. About five margaritas into the night he said to me: "If I were you, I would just go over there and give her a big kiss on the mouth". It would prove to be the best advice I ever received.

/by David (photo from Dorothy)

ODE TO 2007 (a poem by Russ)

Retired and Free
Busy as a bee
Adventures abundant
Ennui redundant
RVed many places
Florida was Aces!
Toured nation out west
Thank God I’m blessed
First year a delight
But tempered with fright

Hiked mountains with clubs;
In Sweden drank Glöggs

New Grandson Arrived;
My children have thrived

Biked places galore;
Ne’er moment a bore

Canoed mangroves too
Wish it were with you!


To hamper the fun -
Boy! I thought I was done!

When cancer was found,
In my prostate - I frowned

Removed by Robot’s arm;
Doc says “No future harm”

RV waits for me
Under shady palm tree

I’ll drive southern run

To join RV in the sun

Swim with dolphins by light;
Watch sunsets each night.

I close with a plea
Please don’t forget me”

Cause I miss “YOU” so much,
So I’ll keep in touch

Please touch back at me;
And your emails I’ll see
As one happy boy,
I’ll answer with joy!


TRANSLATION:

First year of retirement was fabulous!
RVed many new and exciting places in the USA,
joined a hiking club and have actively hiked with them,
was diagnosed with prostate cancer (early stage) and had it removed by a five armed robot name “Da Vinci”,
I’m home visiting my new grandson from Sweden and will drive back down to Florida in a few days,
and finally, please write to me for I love you all and miss you.

Crazy antics by the guy next door (pt 1)

Memories of Russell. Where do I begin? From my earliest memories the Franciscos were always there, next door on Chapel Road. Just about every one of my fondest memories includes the Franciscos, and the crazy antics of Russell make those memories so much sweeter.

With Russ there was never a dull moment. There was always something new or exciting, the ordinary could be made fun, the smallest occurrences suddenly became adventures. A snowfall would be reason to have a sleigh riding party on the hill, or for Russ to close off the top of Chapel Road so we could all sled down the street. I remember one party in particular where it seemed like the entire neighborhood was zooming down Chapel on a Flexible Flyer. A blackout was a reason for a back yard cookout. The beginning of spring was reason to pop the cork on a bottle of champagne to celebrate the end of winter and the anticipation of another garden season. During the summers were the unforgettable block party barbeques in the Lee & Francisco back yards, complete with volleyball, tetherball, grilling, drinking, and the inevitable brush fire. At one party Russ’ accidental/on purpose fire was staged, and he had Mark Mecca and another fireman or two at the ready to drive the fire truck across the field and bravely put out the fire, much to the thrill of the neighborhood kids. Russ would also bring a fire truck onto Chapel Road, and let all the kids play on it, ring the bell and climb inside. What a thrill that was!

The Franciscos were always the back door neighbors – it didn’t take long for the front door and doorbell ringing to be replaced by yelling a greeting through the back door and strolling into the kitchen. It was never out of place for us to come home or wander out of our bedrooms to find Russ sitting in the kitchen with dad, enjoying a cup of coffee or discussing the latest garden crop. And oh, the garden. What a wonderful garden that was! Each year Russ would rototill a little more land for additional plantings. A small tomato patch soon grew into a garden that could rival some of our area’s finest farms. Tomatoes, zucchini, beans, raspberries, peppers, ornamental corn, and many other treats were reaped from that plot. What a treat it was to eat garden-grown beans in January, or enjoy delicious home made tomato sauce all winter long! And isn’t it funny that it became so normal for us to see things such as tobacco and cotton growing on Scotch Plains’ south side?

Russ was someone that our parents trusted would look after us when we were out playing in the neighborhood or when they were away. One summer mom and dad decided to take a trip to North Carolina to visit friends. Kevin was still quite young, so he was going to stay at the Francisco house. Jim and I, being in high school and college, were going to be left home alone. That can only mean one thing – a party!! Mom was aware of our plans, and while she didn’t forbid a party she did warn us that she had enlisted Russ and Steve Vassallo to keep an eye on us, to make sure nothing got out of hand and that we all behaved ourselves. It was summer, so we had most of the party-goers in the back yard, and of course there was a keg sitting in the middle of the yard. The party was on!! I remember someone coming up to me and saying something about “these men” being in the back yard. Oh no, the chaperones made an appearance! I went into the back yard and found Russ and Steve sitting in lawn chairs next to the keg, each with a plastic cup full of beer, shooting the breeze with some of the guests. I have a picture of them somewhere, both lifting a glass and cheering a great party. When mom and dad got back from their trip Jim and I assured them that Russ and Steve could babysit us any time!

Russ was one of dad’s best buddies. I know dad adored him, but I remember one spat they had that had us in stitches laughing at the two of them bickering. A heron had landed next to the fish pond and began picking goldfish out of the pond. Dad thought the bird was beautiful, so he ran in the house and grabbed the camera so he could take pictures of the bird for mom. Russ was livid! He couldn’t believe dad stood there snapping pictures while this long-legged bird patiently picked practically every fish out of the pond. Of course it didn’t take long before they were pals again, but it was like a comedy act listening to the two of them sniping at each other.

Russ also had a special knack for making us feel comfortable or easing our fears. I remember one time mom and dad had gone away for a week. I had already moved out of the house but stopped back each day to take in the mail and feed Turkey the cat. One evening when I stopped by the house smelled like oil. I’m sure it was something simple, a backfire or overload of fuel, but boy did it scare me! The Franciscos were not home at the time, so I went back to my condo and left them a phone message, asking if Russ could go next door and check the furnace. This wasn’t too long after the enormous gas explosion at the Durham Woods development in Edison. I’m sure that when Marge and Russ got home that evening the last thing Russ wanted to do was plod next door to check out what was certain to be a non-emergency, but being the man that he was he thoroughly checked out the situation to put my mind at ease. I still remember Marge calling me to tell me that Russ gave the house a thorough inspection and laughing, saying “Dorothy, did you think it would be another Durham Woods?” We had a good laugh at my anxiety, and I was so thankful that patient Russ performed a full inspection and reported no problems.

/from Dorothy

The Garden: 1989

/from Dorothy

Crazy antics by the guy next door (pt 2)

One of my favorite Russ stories involves gopher killing. Russ had a long-standing hatred of the gophers that had invaded the garden. Each time I would see him he would regale me with his latest stories about his attempts to eradicate the fat little rodents, and all the while Marge would be standing behind him waving her arms and trying to get him to stop telling me (the animal lover) about his murderous intentions. I watched him throw objects at them if he saw them in the garden, and once he even egged Kevin on to slam a golf ball toward one who had wandered into the yard. It’s scary to remember how close Kevin came to hitting the furry body with a Titleist. One day he went into great detail about how he got a gopher bomb, scoped the hill for gopher holes and plugged them all up, then slipped the bomb into what he believed to be the last remaining gopher hole. He took great pride in saying how he sat on his patio, lit a cigar and began to celebrate his victory against the vermin … except he missed one gopher hole. As he’s sitting there a mushroom cloud began to rise over the hill. I’ll never forget how his face fell as he exclaimed “It looked like Hiroshima on that hill!” Poor man. Each summer Rick declares war against a particularly stupid groundhog who insists on burrowing under the barn. The groundhog digs a hole, Rick fills it in, the groundhog digs it out again. Last summer Rick came home with the gopher bomb, and Russ’ Hiroshima story immediately came to mind. I hate to admit that I absolutely dissolved into giggles at the thought of Russ smoking a victory cigar moments before the mushroom cloud appeared.

It goes without saying that the hardest blows Jim, Kevin and I have been dealt are the loss of our dear parents. I remember how supportive Russ and Marge were during dad’s illness and after his passing, and how they always looked after mom when she was living alone. It comforted us to know that the best friends and neighbors anyone could ever hope for were just a few steps from mom’s back door. They were a huge support to us when mom got sick, and I honestly don’t know what we would have done without their comfort and support. We all knew that they put aside their own sorrow at mom’s illness and passing in order to be there for the three of us. We will never forget everything they did for mom, and for us.

It was shortly after mom’s passing that I was at the house, performing the horrible task of cleaning, sorting and purging. I was watching my boss’ black laborador at the time, and had him tied up in the back yard. I hear Russ yell “Hey Dorothy, is this your dog?” When I joined Russ in the back hard he was sitting with a grin on his face, playing with the dog and ignoring my red-rimmed eyes and sniffly nose caused by the obvious crying I had been doing in the house. Russ and I sat together for quite some time, chatting about life, catching up on all the family news, sharing stories about our parents and scratching the dog’s head. Somehow just sitting there together, chatting and drinking sodas and petting a dog, Russ made the most heart-wrenching task easier.

Russ was such a special person who will always be loved and valued and treasured by the Lee family as someone who was an important and vital part of our lives. The memories of him are innumerable; the impact he had on our lives immeasurable. Marge and Russ are so much more than friends or neighbors – they always will be part of the Lee family. I miss Russ terribly and think about him often. He taught us all a lesson in how to love life and live it to the fullest, how everything can be an adventure, how to turn lemons into lemonade. I cannot believe that he would have been 70 years old today – while the rest of us aged he seemed to get younger. I will never forget Russ running around with that silly grin on his face, finding everything exciting, neat or funny. I will especially getting the Russ hug – the big bear hug with the “Hiya sweetheart,” followed by him throwing his head back and giggling evilly, saying “Ahhhhh, I love it!” and giving his body a quick quiver. He will truly be forever in my heart.

/from Dorothy

First day of spring

/from Dorothy

A short list

• My dad was an equal opportunity employer... girls are as good at mowing lawns as boys - but equally boys can set tables and do dishes
• When you lend a friend (or family) money consider it a gift - not a loan - but go ahead and lend if you can its important to help
• Always be charitable to those in need
• It doesn't matter what you believe just that you believe (take your kids to church or synagogue)
• HUG HUG HUG
• Pay yourself first - its important to work hard but always reward yourself with something for a job well done
• Take vacations
• Love your children
• Family is important - spend time with them - even when you don't always get along
• Taste everything
• Everything in moderation
• Never back someone into a corner without giving them a way out with their pride
• Grandchildren are fun to play with
• Marriage matters - stick with it
• Travel to new places and embrace new learning
• Find something interesting in everything
• Never pass up an opportunity to learn or experience something new even if you think you will not like it
• Every opportunity is AN OPPORTUNITY not to be missed
• LIVE your life to the fullest
• If your daughter tells you she is afraid that someone could light her house on fire with a match while she is asleep- don't laugh show her that it is a lot harder than that
• Never laugh at your children's fears - honor them and tell them they are normal and it will be ok
• Turn your old red Volkswagen over in the driveway for fun when your twin brother comes to bring you a new one
• Organize and make files
• Learn how to pack a car really well - I did - and I think I can do it as well as dad - just ask my husband
• Keep and extra twenty hidden in your wallet for emergencies (ok maybe now its 100)
• Save part of your income for a rainy day
• Budget
• Have fun
• Let loose on vacation
• Exercise
• Eat dessert
• Peanut Butter makes a great dessert (or anytime food)
• Pack a cooler and take your kids to the beach on Monday's
• Engage in conversation with people you never thought you would - everyone is interesting if your interested
• Spelling doesn't count
• Love your life, love your family, your children are your legacy and there is no better legacy
• Tell people you love them -
• Sign cards to your wife "Love Me"

It still not long enough and I miss him every day - but I was so lucky to have had him for my dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/from Nancy

January 28th

"Than you are so lucky, mama," reflected my 9 year old son after our dinner blessing this evening. "You get to think of him every time you have a birthday!" January 28 is the birthday I have always shared with my godfather, Russ.

I shared a few reflections tonight about him, as we ate together- my 9 year old son and 6 year old daughter he never met, myself, and my spouse, Fred, who had deep respect for Uncle Russ. They included a story my father told me- how Russ was so excited the day I was born he covered his own yard with It's a Girl signs. The joyous visit I remembered as a child, when the entire Francisco clan took the train down to New Orleans shortly after my family relocated there. My day with Russ as a newly graduated physical therapist, visiting Point Pleasant and other spots of the Jersey shore, reflecting on adulthood and all it's new responsibilities. The reading he so beautifully read the day of our wedding, and the one I barely made it through the day of his funeral.

Russ Francisco is the man, second to my own father, who I learned the most from during my formative years. For this I am so grateful, especially today, Jan 28. I miss you, Uncle Russ.

/from Patty

Birthday gifts

My earliest memories of Russell date back to November 1965, when Phyllis, his sister-in-law, invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner at her parents’ home in Roselle. I don’t recall if Margie and Russ were present at the dinner, but I’m pretty sure that I met both of them that weekend (my first in N.J.). Russ impressed me as an “earthy” and very friendly person, who had a great affinity for beer. Over the years my impression of him changed greatly, as he sought to reach out for learning, loving his family, enjoying life.

Russ and I shared a mother-in-law, Sylvia, who usually gave the two of us the same birthday present since our birthdays are only apart by 34 days. I would call Russ shortly after Jan. 28 and ask, “Well, what didwe get for our birthdays this year?!”

Of course we shared a great deal more. For starters, we loved each others children. How can I begin to express my appreciation to Russ for all he did for my son Robert and daughter Lisa. He was more than an uncle; he was a friend and mentor. I can never repay the debt I owe him for being a second father to Rob.

Over the years we shared interests in wine and good music, in traveling and in religion. I was amazed at his willingness to pick himself up and travel to Israel (which he called “The Holy Land”). He proved that you don’t have to be Jewish to love Israel! And he confirmed the belief of Pope John XXlll that in order to be a good Catholic, you first must become immersed in the Jewish Bible. For Russ was a good Catholic, full of faith and optimism.

I miss Russ. I often think about him, especially at this time of year. We always wished each other “Happy Birthday.” On this, his 70^th birthday, I will say a prayer for him. And I’m betting he will remember my 70^th on March 3. God bless you, Russell Francisco.

/from Ira

Funny expression

More than the next 10 people

Russ joined our Naples Walking Club when he was here alone one winter and we walked together every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He and I usually went out ahead of the group because of his energy and speed. We had much to talk about in the hour of walking, so I learned quite a bit about that amazing man. I envied his energy and drive which took him to most of the free outdoor events in town, often by bike. He reported on everything from concerts in the park to art and music festivals, nature walks and kayak expeditions.

That man took advantage of all the outdoor events in his power and enjoyed the natural environment of southwest Florida to the highest. His enthusiasm and humor were appreciated by all of our group who met for breakfast after walking. I was always sorry to see him head north for the summer and we all welcomed his return the next year. When I learned of his passing, I could not help but think that his was a life well lived. He got more living out of each day than the next ten people. I know he is doing more of the same on the other side. Go for it, Russ.

/from Mary

On the bench

Walking club

Russ was along on our hiking trip to Amelia Island and was always full of energy and enjoying the beautiful scenery. We also walked with him on our Saturday morning 5k walks beginning and ending at Perkins and enjoyed his stories of his life and travels.

/Dave and Nadine

Leg rest

I am Russ's aunt on his mother's side. My earliest recollection of Russ was when the twins were between 2 and 3 years old (I was sixteen) and I was dating their uncle who was seventeen. His Mom visited with us just about every Saturday, and their Uncle Gene conned both of them into believing that it was a "treat" to hold up his legs while he sat on the sofa at my Mom's home. They would do it to the point of exhaustion and neither one would want to be the first to give up. Gene was a 6 foot, 200 lb. man so it was no easy task, but it soon became a ritual much to everyone's amusement. My first home when I married was in Union, N. J. and Russ was in Roselle and used to come to my home on his bike to mow the lawn when we needed him. My fondest memories of your Dad in my adult years was that he was always the life of the party at all the family gatherings, a non-conformist to say the least, and he always put a different spin on life events and everyday mundane things. He has been sorely missed.

/from Gloria

Call center

I can tell you exactly the day and the reason for my first encounter with Russ. It was January 19, 2000, the day of the Seton Hall fire. Both Russ and I were working in the telephone call room – Jubilee 132 – answering the incoming calls from people trying to trace the students who lived in Boland. I sat across the table from Russ and found his voice and manner calm and soothing even to those of us working under very trying circumstances. You could hear his heart in every call he took – I can still hear him now even though it is ten years later. It was then that I decided I wanted to know this gentle, caring man. It was only later that I found out how wild and crazy he could be … but I enjoyed that part too. I also learned of his patience and knowledge when dealing with computer “novices”.

I don’t want to make him sound like a saint because I’m sure that the imp in him made itself very well known but he was one of the people who left footprints on my heart and wonderful memories in my mind. I look forward some day to meeting up with him again – and then, watch out!!

/From Joan

Travels with Russ

My uncle Russell will always be in my heart. He's a great man. Some memories of Uncle Russell: We traveled a lot together in the RV - to Florida, Maine and Wisconsin. It's funny, every time we entered a new state, he'd pull over and take a picture of the sign. At the state line, he would tell me were going on a 20 min hike or bike ride but it would always turn out to be an 1 1/2 hike or bike ride. But I must say that I always learned something new every time. He was very knowledgeable about places we would travel to. He was always very prepared. When he was planing our travels he made two reservations at two different RV camps. So if one was a not so nice, we'd just go to the other campground. One time it was about 10pm and we made a wrong turn down a dead-end street. We had to disconnect the car we were towing so we could turn around. As we were doing this another car drove by us going really slow and passed us by like three times. You never saw two guys move so fast to get out of there. Kinda scary at the time, but we laughed about it later. He taught me everything there's to know about that RV.

Thoughout my life he took me under his wing and taught me so much about electronics, plumbing...he taught me about life. I was lucky enough to be able to work for him and he showed me how to fix TVs, VCRs, microwaves and air conditioners. I use the knowledge everyday now. Not only was he my Uncle, he was a great friend. I feel honored to have him as my uncle. He would give the shirt off his back for his family and friends. He's a very good hearted person. He was always out to learn new things and he did. I will miss our adventures together. Im sure he's in heaven looking down on us being proud of his family and friends. There's not a day that goes by I don't think about him. He is a very important part of my life. Uncle Russell, I miss you very much. You will always be in my heart. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I love you Uncle Russell.

/from Robert

Best friend

Next to a woman's heart, the most previous possession that ever comes to a man in this world is someone to call "Best Friend." For much of my married life, Russ was my Best Friend. Over the years we shared many interests: traveling, good music, good wine and our extended family. During his all too-short lifetime, Russ had acquired a sort of wisdom of the heart, for he never fooled himself; he knew who he was; he spoke the truth in his heart. An ancient rabbinic tradition teaches that such as value refers to a person who follows the truth even when it is known only to himself.

Another rabbinic saying is, "You can't tell the size of an evergreen until it is cut down." That certainly was the case with Russ. How many of us misunderstood him? For many years, I know that I did. He was wiser than we gave him credit. He certainly gave of himself much more than was given to him.

The legacy that Russ left behind is a living legacy -- his family, all the students he helped (in college and in church). If we take time to examine his legacy, we find it to be impressive indeed. What wonderful examples of values and behavior he left us. For many, our values shape our aspirations. Russ had simpler values -- to care for his family, to learn something new everyday, to live life to its fullest. He was a kind and good human being. I'm proud to have called him my Best Friend.

/From Ira

Remembering a waltz

I met Russell Francisco over the weekend of his Daughter's wedding. All of Nancy's family was warm and welcoming–Russell made me feel like I had known him all my life even though it had only been an hour.

Over the next few days I had the honor and privilege of spending time with Russell and the Francisco's during the pre-wedding preparations.

I watched as Russell opened his home to the arriving guests, treating each one like a long lost relative. He talked to people as if he knew and understood every detail of their emotions. I saw him waltz with his daughter at her wedding, a special gift he had planned by taking lessons.

I am forever thankful and blessed to have had this small window where Russell and his family shared their lives and love. I remember marveling , "this is what a 'father' is and what being a family means."

/From Holly

Russ to the rescue

How do I recount my memories of Russ? There are so many. They go back more than fifty years when Russ began dating Marge. He was a high school senior, Marge was in tenth grade and I was an eighth grader. From time to time I was invited to tag along with them on dates. There were trips to Lakewood in the summer and at least one trip to a drive-in movie which included my best friend and next door neighbor Nancy. We stayed through all the movies that were shown that night. In those years all movie venues showed multiple films, never just one. We had a blast, but when we arrived back home poor Russ got an earful from Nancy’s dad who was pacing the pavement in the wee hours of the morning waiting for our return. I think that was our last trip to the drive-in.'

Russ loved poetry. His penchant for writing it earned me an A in science class when I submitted Russ’ poem which began “If you’ll be my little electron, I’ll be your proton, too. I’ll make your heart go round and round whenever I’m with you.” My teacher loved it.

As a teenager I was rather shy in social situations. It was no surprise that I found myself without a date for my tenth grade dance. Russ to the rescue. He not only took me to the dance, but thanks to his fancy foot work, we won the dance contest. Years later when my daughter’s prom was fast approaching without a confirmed date, I reassured my daughter that if she didn’t find a date, she could rely on Uncle Russ to take her. She did attend with a classmate, but I had no doubt that Russ would have been there for her if she needed him.

My dance wasn’t the only time Russ came to the rescue. As years passed and life became a lot more complicated than dates for dances, Russ was always there to help us through the rough times. Just ask my son Rob. With due respect to Robert Fulghum, Rob owes all he ever needed to know to Russ, not his kindergarten teacher!
At holidays and life cycle events, family celebrations always left us with a special memory when Russ was there. Who can forget Russ singing at Nancy’s wedding or the adventures he took us on when 14 of us traveled through Sweden after David’s wedding?

Thank you, Russ for all you’ve done for us.

/From Phyllis

Potatoes in the woods

My name is Laura and I grow up with Russell and his twin brother Roger. He lived on 10th Avenue and I lived around the corner on Chestnut Street. We always hung out on 10th Avenue and there was a lot of us. There was Tommy Stanchek, the Rikers who lived up over him, Johnny PaPa, Joe Bruen, Robert Warner. We played football, baseball and stick ball, roller skated. A few times we went into the wooded area by his house and made a fire and someone would bring potatoes, another person would bring the butter. They were the best potatoes I ever had. I sure miss Russell. I saw him the last time at our 50th class reunion.

/from Laura

Memories of Hackelbarney

It was the summer of 1969 and Mr. Francisco rented a pop-up trailer for a camping vacation. My dad, Ed Lucas never missed a chance to play a joke on someone. Late one evening he placed a sign on the front lawn by the fully popped up trailer GYSPY FORTUNE TELLER INSIDE. The sign resulted in a few call outs from passing cars. I know a sign was placed on our front lawn but I do not recall what it said, I think it was something about swim lessons since we recently got a backyard pool.

There was another summer vacation spent with the Cozzi family. Robert the youngest Cozzi had trouble during vacations and needed a little help from Ex lax. Mrs. Cozzi purchased a small package of the chocoloted variety. Mr. Francisco showed Robert how good the medicine tasted on the way to where ever the vacation spot was. It was not too long into the trip that there was a need to stop at every rest stop because the medication started to work.

There was a summer cookout at the duplex on Amsterdam Ave. in Roselle. The little hibachi had a small piece of a two by four holding up the cooking grates. We all know how well fire and wood go together. It was not too long before the two by four caught on fire. All Mr. Francisco could do was yell, "FIRE" and run around in a circle. Mark saved the day by getting the hose, turning on the water and putting out the two by four.

I also recall my dad saying that Mr. Francisco did not take turning 30 too well. He said something about Mr Francisco taking to his rocking chair and moaning that life was over.

The last time I saw Mr. Francisco as well as Mrs. Francisco was at my home in 2003. We had a bunch of friends at a combination event that included birthday, anniversary, house warming and no mortgage party. My mom had passed away in 2002 and we moved into the house we had purchased for her after she had her strokes in 1996. We gave Mr. and Mrs. Francisco the grand tour Mr. Francisco realized why he did not make more money in the repair of Zenith television sets. Sitting in the TV room was the television set my parents had purchased from him about twenty five years before. The television set died about six months later but who can say that they have a television set last for twenty five years?

I also recall the fall picnics at Hackelbarney State Park. The Francisco, Cozzi and Lucas families would set out early on a Saturday morning in September for the picnic. We would walk from the parking lot into the area where the picnic spots were. We always took the first spot just over the wooden bridge. We would set up the grill, cook the food then take the hike to the play area where the swings were. We then took the long way back by crossing the Black River by stepping on the stones and returning to our picnic site from the opposite direction. Mr Francisco was amazed by my mom Mary's potato salad with its secret ingredient, a hard boiled egg. I have not been back to Hackelbarney since then. I live maybe twenty five minutes from it but I have many happy memories of it.

I will always have a lasting memory of both Mr. and Mrs. Francisco on the videotape of my wedding. I got married in March 1988. The video of the reception shows the people on the dance floor. There are many shots of Mr. and Mrs. Francisco dancing. The song finishing and them leaving the dance floor only to have the next song start up and Mr. Francisco dragging Mrs. Francisco back onto the floor. I still wonder if they got to eat dinner that night.

I was greatly saddened by the news that Mr. Francisco had passed away. I have many happy memories of time spent together over the years. The memories make me smile and I hope that they will make the family smile a little too. It is very difficult to loose someone who is a big part of your life but it is the memories that remain and help us to carry on with life. Always remember that we will all see each other again, it may take a while but we will see each other again.

/from Andrea

Sharing an office

I know Russ from Seton Hall University. I worked with him for two years while I was completing my Masters degree. I worked as a graduate assistant in Computer Training Center and in fact Russ and I shared the same office. Russ was the most fantastic boss I have ever had. He was so full of life and energy, an inspiration to all. His training classes were so much fun. He would bring out the best in you. Anyone could see the true passion he had for his work. He was a true lover of life. I think he lived every moment to the fullest.

I remember he always talked about biking for miles and his love for nature. He in fact always had a bike in the trunk of his car and he would often go biking straight from work. I have learnt so many things from him. I still remember when he took me for lunch and how he introduced me to everyone we met while eating in the University cafe. I think there was a reason why I had tears in my eyes on my last day at the Computer Training Center.

/from Harpreet

56' Ford

I can remember in our senior year Russ got too many tickets and I got to drive him around for six months. It was a pleasure because I didn't have a car yet. Then there was the time we were going down to the beach he was driving his 56?Ford when all of a sudden the hood flew up and we both stuck our heads out to where we were going. It was a brief moment of I guess you would call it excitement. We pulled over and fastened the hood down and proceeded on our way.

Russ and I had some real good times that I cherish to this day, I remember when we steamed off about 8 layers of wallpaper from one of his mother's rooms behind the beauty parlor. That was some fun even though it was a lot of work.

I loved Russ like a brother and am glad that you are putting this together.

/from Ray

An earlier way of life

A fitting sign for a man who was always interested the way things used to be.

/Photo from Bill

Florida hat

/Photo sent by Kassy

Emails

My best memories of Russ are the e-mails he shared with us on their travels to Sweden and Florida. We could sense his excitement for life and we actually felt better after reading them. We're sure that Russ has touched the lives of many in this way.

/from Jim

Laughing and joking

Russell had a great smile. He would laugh and flash those pearly white teeth. His eyes woud wrinkle up, his moustash would twitch and cap that smile. He was a people person and made you feel welcome. He would take you to his magic gaden to see his pride of plants he nourished and they him.

Russell wore this Fedora "outback" hat. Reminded me of the movie, "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Like the movie, Russell was always in motion and after adventure. Russell and Hal enjoyed each other, joking, laughing. One was more of a joker than the other, and prodding each other. They had some good laughs....I hope they are together now, laughing and joking.

/from Vera

A brief encounter

I work at Seton Hall and knew Russell through his work at the Training Center, but I think I actually got to know him better when he retired and started sending out e-mails about his travels. I was amazed at his zest for life and also by his deep faith and piety. I saw him several times after he retired, when he came to visit SHU, and had a lovely dance with him at one of the Employee Christmas parties a few years ago. I was fortunate enough to see him just a few weeks before his death – he dropped into my office in Walsh and we were able to catch up, all too briefly, as there was another meeting to run to. In these “brief encounters” I feel that Russell embodied E.M. Forster’s enjoinder to “only connect” and that Russell did just that, connect, with all the people in his life.

I am delighted to have known Russell, however briefly, because he made me feel as if he knew me. What a tremendous gift he had - his goodness of spirit and integrity of character shone through his soul and warmed us all.

/ from Marie

Great experiences

Russell was a man of many characters and interests. I enjoyed him so much – his garden, visits and parties at his house, his activities, his energy and his shenanigans. Travelling with Russ and Margie -visiting Nancy in California was extremely fun and enlightening; and our journey into New York City one year to see a Broadway play, Ellis Island and many wonderful things. Great experiences – only made greater by Russ’s exuberance and Margie’s warm hospitality and friendship.

/from Suzy

Help with Adobe

I work at Seton Hall University in the Center for Catholic Studies. When I came to the university, not only I did not know anyone at all but the computer system was completely new to me (I am someone who never felt completely at ease with technology). Lucky for me, Russ was one of the first people I met and he made me feel totally at ease not only with the computer system but also his cheery personality was a wonderful welcome.

Over the years Russ was the kindest and most patient person, walking me through all my computer glitches, every time one of these issues came up, I would call him, he would tell me how to fix the problem and tell me all about his family, of whom he was most proud of, and his trips, especially those to Sweden. If I did not have too many computer problems I was almost always sure to catch him after the noon Mass on campus.

I clearly remember the day he came to my office to say good-bye and told me all about the plans for the RV and driving around visiting al the places he had already planned and how wonderful it would be. His enthusiasm and happiness was such that it made one wonder if one could do the same thing, to have that joy of life and to continue to experience everything that came along. It almost made you want to get and RV as well! He did promise that he would send me the photos of the trips --he did, and I very much enjoyed seeing them and from time to time I wondered where the RV had taken him and his wife.

I last saw Russ in June 2009 when he came to Seton Hall and attended the Lonergan Conference, we chatted for a bit, not long enough, and he very quickly brought me up to date on the trips, family and upcoming summer plans and a promise of more email updates, we wished him happy travels as he left with a smile, a wave, full of energy and in high spirits. Needless to say, like everyone, when I learned of his passing I could not believe it.

I was fortunate to meet Russ--I am sure that his welcoming smile made a difference to everyone that arrived at the computer training--he is missed and will always be remembered -- and I will always think of him when I need to do something with Adobe.

His family was his joy and this joy was passed onto others.

/from Gloria

Wedding flowers

When John and I got married, my dad grew all the flowers for the centerpieces at my wedding - they were so beautiful. We also shared a love of sun-flowers, everytime I see a sunflower I will think of him.

Posted by Nancy

In the garden

Here is a list of a few things I remember Dad growing in his garden (which measured about 1/2 of a soccer field):

* cotton
* tobacco
* corn
* tomatoes
* green and yellow beans
* sugar snaps
* lettuce
* broccoli
* Brussel sprouts
* zucchini
* squash
* blackberries, raspberries, blueberries and strawberries
* asparagus
* grapes
* paw paw tree
* giant hibiscus
* lupines and other wildflowers
* carrots
* beets
* and probably tons of other things I can't remember

/David

Always remembered

To My Uncle Russell,
I don’t know where to began
He accepted me the day I was adopted
He's always been there for me and respected me
I started getting much closer to him
He let me live and work for Center tv as a tech
I joined the Scotch Plain Fire dept. He retired before I join

He help me get and would tell me fire stories , which we had in common
He taught me about life and so many more things, I’ll never forget that.
Uncle Russ and I did a lot traveling to wisconson, maine, and florida (naples) of course
I loved traveling with him. I will miss that.
He was great guy even when he took me for a hike that he said would take 20min and it turned into an 1hour hike
But its all good, I loved going place with him, and just sitting at the rv smoking cigars and on our laptops
He will always be remembered and never forgot

From Robert

My friend

Dad was always my "friend at the ready" for any kind of adventure. In the years of our adult friendship we have enjoyed long bicycle rides, hikes, boat rides, countless trips to the shore, every type of festival imaginable, music, fireworks, trips to NYC, Philadelphia and Washington DC, not to mention camping and RVing. Of course their is the fall ritual to find the brightest leaf colors on the eastern seaboard. I can't imagine having spent life differently...and will miss these times dearly.

Posted by Mark

The turkey leg

In 1998ish, the Frans came over to our house (next door, the Lees) for Thanksgiving dinner. This was by no means Buckingham Palace, just to set the scene. It was a rather low-brow affair. Mr. Fran shrewdly notices the giant turkey leg that no one seems to care about, and after 10 minutes of staring at it politely, announces his intentions to claim the prize. For sheer entertainment value, he takes it like Fred Flintstone, and begins to dip it into the gravy bowl. He was in heaven. I can still remember the sky-high enjoyment plastered all over his face. And to make the whole scene everlastingly funny, I can still hear Mrs. Fran saying "Russell!" No lie, that turkey leg had to weigh 5 pounds.

From Kevin

Frenetic fun

"Unforgettable......that's what you are...." I don't even know where to start when talking about memories......so many.... All I can say now is that as soon as "going to Scotch Plains" was mentioned in this house, it was immediately always met with instant motion, people dashing to get out to the car and down to Chapel Road and into another Francisco adventure in frenetic fun!! From all the fun-filled birthday parties, Nancy is home parties, garden parties, impromptu dinners (usually not done til after 9)one could expect to be involved in garden tours, eating fresh produce off the plant, pick-up softball games in the field, sled rides down the back hill (weather permitting) chariot races in the garden wagon, splash fights and dunkings in the kiddie pool (that would be the adults....not the kids), someone falling in the fish pond, walks around the neighborhood, good food and great times with the best friends ever. We were made to feel part of the family and loved always....which we needed desperately as we lost our parents during the years that passed. We love him and all of you, that will never change. He will always be with us - he is truly unforgettable.

Love to you all, Marianne and the M gang

Convertable Jeep Wrangler

I have a great memory of picking Uncle Russ and Aunt Marge up for Craigs wedding.....they got a fancy ride in a jeep wrangler convertible they brought out a bottle of champagne and suggeted I take a sip (noon wedding) I was running late and had know idea where I was going. After the wedding we headed to the reception with the top down on beautiful ... Read MoreRiver roadon a sunny picture perfect April afternoon listening to Frank Sinatra. He was full of Adventure and you always wanted to be around him just a little bit longer.I am sad for his loss, he was a beautiful spirit.

From Tania

Labor pains and phone issues

My funniest memory was the day I went into labor with my son Jordan Russell in Russell's house. He and Mark were eating breakfast and I told Marge and my mom the baby was coming. Russell and Mark could not get out of the house fast enough!!! I also laughed every night at dinner time when Russell would take the phone off the hook and throw it on the floor so we would not get calls while eating. OH!!! What great memories!!!

from Dawn

A visit with the Pope

Russ took Mark to see the Pope in Oct 1979 and somehow I - the non-catholic - came along for the ride. We were talking the entire trip about everything from energy, small business & work - to family and religion. We drove to DC in Marge's Chevette exactly 55 miles per our the whole way which seemed forever. We stayed at someone's (?) house in the DC area, got up at 5AM and took the metro, stood around for hours to see John Paul II drive by in a modified golf cart. At that moment I realized that there might be more to organized religion than I learned from the Unitarians. Russ, you were like a second dad to me, I'll miss your hearty laugh. Keep an eye out for us!

From Rustin

Familytime

I think the biggest thing I loved about Russell is when you talked to him you had his undivided attention. Most of the time that is all a person needs and a quality I need to work on.

I loved Russell he was a boss to me for a few months and a friend for many years. He could make me so mad and make me laugh I think mostly he made me think about my life and where I was going with it. He never judged people. He just took you as you were and made you a better person. He could NOT “make” a pot of coffee but was always willing to make it.
I think the thing I’m going to miss the most are the good hugs and the “Hey babe, how is it going” (he wanted a real answer).

I remember way back – showing up to pick Nancy up to go and they were just starting to eat dinner. Keep in mind it was late. All Russell said was “Family time SIT”. We all started talking and hours later I was on my way home. Nancy and I never did get to go out that night but we had a great time. I think that was the beginning of me being a part of this family.
I am a better person because of Russell and the Francisco family. I hope he knows how much I loved him and how much he taught me. I will miss him big time.

From Joanie

A big grin

I remember when my dad died...i was living in Montana...On the three day drive to Mississippi I wrote his eulogy...Then I thought, "I'll never make it through this." Well, when I arrived at the funeral home there were my two Uncles (Russ and Roger-Dad's brothers) I remember how heart broken we all were....

Then I got up to speak...wow.. it was hard... Read More...BUT....as I looked into the eyes of the people sitting there listening, I searched for a face-someone who I could focus on and I saw Uncle Russel and Uncle Roger...grinning at me...smiling...eyes lit up and encouraging....
I made through the entire Eulogy only because of these two amazing men....
But this is how Uncle Russel was...he knew ...he always knew...just what someone needed....

From Donna

Long Beach Island

There will never be another Russell. He was very special to me because he treated me like a little sis ter...he was my first big "crush"....at 6 years old I was so infatuated with him...he spent many vacations with my family on Long Beach Island and always brought his special smile with him...he made vacations more fun....it was just like having another older brother to protect me...he treasured his family and will be with them always...a piece of my heart has been torn out...

From Linda

From Sweden to NJ

Russell, My Dear Friend,

We met for the first time 35 years ago, but it was when Anita and David became a couple I really got to know you.

I found a very special person; a true and generous friend, always exploring the world small as big, very knowledgeable and full of wisdom, always eager to learn more, a good teacher having an answer to most everything when asked, you even taught me about things in Sweden.

We have had many great moments together; outdoor concerts in Westfield going early in the morning reserving the best spot, living together in your RV in Florida enjoying the fantastic sunsets, exploring part of Sweden in an RV, sitting on an island outside Äskestock watching the Moon partially cover the Sun, spent Christmas and celebrated New Years eve together in Stockholm, and many many more.

On behalf of the entire Brofors family I thank you for your friendship and all wonderful moments we have had together.

Tack och farväl.

From Sven-Åke

18 tons of rock

While I only had the pleasure of spending time with Russ on a handful of occasions, I felt like I grew up with him because of all the stories Nancy told about her father. He always seemed like a "guy" I would like to hang out with, be around. Many people in this world take energy from you, but Russ seemed to give energy to people. When he was in a room you wanted to be near him.

The most recent memory I have of Russ is from this past May. My wife was battling cancer, so a number of friends asked how they could help. We have a newer house and I wanted to finish the landscaping. We planned a "landscaping party" and around 20 people showed up at my house. Russ was in town visiting Nancy and her family over the weekend of the landscaping party. Instead of staying at Nancy's house Russ came over to help with our landscaping project. Here is a guy who is in town visiting, on vacation, 69 years old, and he is at my house helping shovel 18 tons of rock!

I know Russ will be missed by a lot of people, but I feel lucky that I still get to hear the stories from Nancy.

From Russ

The wanderer

Your dad was so very special to me. I can't believe he's no longer with us, but I do have some memories to share. First, in general, we all knew that if Russ was attending something there was going to be a lot of fun. When we were going to get together with family, the first thing my kids would ask was if Russell was going to be there.

Last month, your mom, dad and I went to the Jewish Museum in Manhattan. Only problem was, the museum was closed that day except for the gift shop. So we browsed in the gift shop for a while, except I noticed Russell wasn't with us. I asked Margie where he was. She wasn't sure, but she thought he was probably in Central Park. She called him up and told him we were going to Guggenheim Art Museum. He met us there and we all went in. Then he wandered off and Magie and I went through the museum together. The point is, I couldn't get over how patient he was. He never complained about what Margie and I were doing. If it didn't suit him, he would just quietly wander off and do his own thing. He was quite mellow. Everybody had a good time.

I also remember a barbeque at your house many years ago. One of the highlights was a pie eating contest for the kids. The kids were psyched and the adults watched. However, on the count of go, Russell pushed all the kids' faces into the whipped cream. The adults had a good laugh. I think the kids did too. He was a lot of fun.

We'll keep Russell in our heart and minds with our memories. You are all a wonderful family and I am so happy to be part of the extended family.

From Marsha

The teacher

How do you distill the experiences of more than 50 years of knowing someone into few enough words to fit into a blog entry? A daunting idea, at best. I’ll choose only a little of what I know about Russ.

Russell was always willing to live life at its fullest, always striving to learn something new, to explore new things and ideas, and at his happiest when he was able to teach those to others. His patience as a teacher was an interesting counterpoint to the impatience he showed in other areas of life. Sometimes it seemed as if Russ couldn’t catch up with himself!

But it was teaching that brought out the very best in Russell. Whether he was at his shop showing young workers how to do something, or at the vocational school teaching young people the skills needed in radio and TV repair, the firehouse as a training officer, teaching the important thing to his children and grandchildren, or at the Hall showing students and teachers how to use their computers more effectively, he loved teaching. And was very good at it.

His passion for teaching and life in general was a wonder to watch. Not that Russ was perfect. No, at times he was the most exasperating person I knew. But it was impossible to remain exasperated at Russ. His heart shone through even his nuttiness.

I will miss everything about Russ, the good and the less than stellar. But most of all, I think, I’ll miss those philosophical discussions we would have at holidays and get togethers. Like the last time we were together, at Scott’s graduation party this past June, when he wanted to know if I ever thought about what our lives would have been like if we had made other choices. We talked for a little while and he said, “But then I wouldn’t have Margie and my family, and I would hate that.”

And that sums up Russell.

From Evelyn

The entertainer

He was a wonderful character. I remember thinking he was the ultimate grandfather, dandling children from his knee, keeping everyone entertained. Everyone who knew him was richer for it. He leaves a wonderful legacy and a beautiful family.

From John

Oh, the places You'll Go!

I bought this Dr. Seuss book for my son a few days after my father died. For me, the message of not waiting around for life to happen summarizes my father perfectly. Forgive me for any copyright infringements but below is the complete poem. Consequentially, It was the last book Dr. Seuss published before his own death:

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on y our way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't
Because, sometimes they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

/Poem by Dr. Seuss

Eulogy delivered by Mark

This past week has allowed so much reflection, and incredible input from family, friends, colleagues world-wide. It is clear to me that my father’s life has touched countless many, from his foster family in the Philippines, to friends from Florida to New York, family in Sweden, Mississippi, Missouri, Wisconsin and this Garden State. I must say, it feels strange but wholly justified to share our grief with others over the most modern methods including Facebook, Skype, SMS, Cellphones, Websites, Blogs in addition to higher touch methods including the nearly fifty people that visited us in the ICU this week.
I would be remiss if I did not share the incredible compassion shown by Bradley Beach’s residents, lifeguards, first responders and police in addition to the more amazing ability to share the end of my father’s life while at Jersey Shore Medical Center. My father’s more than 20 years of volunteer fire department service seemed to have garnered an incredible repayment this week.

My father has been so many things to me…and I have so much because of him. This apple definitely didn’t fall far from the tree. My love for the outdoors has definitely been learned from Dad through lifetime experiences shared along the Jersey Shore, in campgrounds across the USA, on bike trails and hiking trails. I call myself a gardener because of Dad, and have shared in the incredible bounty of his mastery of the art. Gardening is soil and humus, seed and flower, vegetables, fruits and berries and crops to learn from including cotton, tobacco, Jerusalem Artichokes and the obscure Paw Paw tree.

While my degrees came from Universities, all of my applied knowledge came from working for more than a decade for my dad, from age 12. Starting from testing tubes, and building maintenance and moving on to service calls and finally to diagnostics and repair, these skills live on in my career. My father taught me the value of process, the importance of customer service and the art of diagnostic method. I have resolved issues in TV’s, Satellite Payloads and Advanced Fiber Optic Communications systems using divide and conquer methods. I also have a skilled hand with soldering irons and attribute my skilled application of the dual-iron microchip removal technique to my days at Center Television.

My father taught me to appreciate classical music, a love I retain to this day. He also exposed us to classics from the 40’s, OK not everything stuck with me.

Finally, my father has given me a strong sense of spiritual centering. Raised Catholic while honoring and respecting Jewish traditions, and then allowed to explore my spiritual path, my parents have supported their children each step of the way. In retrospect, this may have been the chief source of comfort during this very difficult week.

One can not die unless you have lived…or as my father would frequently remind me “many come to the feast, but few partake of the bounty.” My father’s wanderlust was just a symptom of his desire to live life to the fullest.

His travels brought him several times to walk in the footsteps of ancient Judaism and Christianity. In as much it is fitting to journey there as a place to reflect upon his life. I conclude as one does during the Passover Seder by saying:
L'Shana HaBa'ah Ba'Y'israel
Next Year in Israel!

Eulogy delivered by David

I leant upon a coppice gate
When Frost was spectre-gray,
And Winter's dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Had sought their household fires.

The land's sharp features seemed to be
The Century's corpse outleant,
His crypt the cloudy canopy,
The wind his death-lament.
The ancient pulse of germ and birth
Was shrunken hard and dry,
And every spirit upon earth
Seemed fevourless as I.

At once a voice arose among
The bleak twigs overhead
In a full-hearted evensong
Of joy illimited;
An aged thrush, frail, gaunt, and small,
In blast-beruffled plume,
Had chosen thus to fling his soul
Upon the growing gloom.

So little cause for carolings
Of such ecstatic sound
Was written on terrestrial things
Afar or nigh around,
That I could think there trembled through
His happy good-night air
Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew
And I was unaware.

- Darkling Thrush by Thomas Hardy

- First of all I just want to thank everyone here for all your amazing love and support. It is been a real comfort for me and my family to know that my father touched the lives of so many people in so many places.

-To see all these people here is truely an honor to our family and to my Dad.

-It is impossible to summarize or capture the essence of my father in one speech, but one truth that stands out for me is that he was the single most meaningful person in all my life.

-He taught me everything I know about hard work, about spirituality, about how to think critically and how to be open and accepting to different people, ideas and perspectives.

- He taught me and still teaches me how to live life and more importantly how to give back to life.

-My father would often say, “Come on babe, let’s have an adventure”.

- It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that his life was a series of adventures, whether making pilgrimages through Europe and the Middle East, or reinventing himself from small business owner to technology educator and theology academic.

Sometimes his adventures could mean kayaking through the everglades or programming his GPS to take back roads on a trip from Florida to Wisconsin. But sometimes it might mean just going against the flow and challenging himself and even the rest of us.

-Right now, I believe my Dad is on a whole new adventure; maybe driving a giant gilded RV down a open country road, windows down and Sinatra blaring out over the speakers.

- My father is also my father is my spiritual mentor.

- He taught me that understanding and finding God’s voice is not like taking something pre-packaged off the shelf but a rather a life-long journey that requires, study, questioning and contemplation.

- He taught me that it is possible to create a personal relationship with God beyond the confines of formalized institutions. And while I still have many questions and uncertainties, I will always be able to look to him and get great inspiration. And I have promised him never to stop searching.

- So it seems that the older I get, the more I find myself becoming like my father – in the things I say, the anxieties I have or the way I am with my own son, Benjamin.

- And this gives me enormous comfort because if I can become half the man that my father is, it would that I would be making a great contribution to this world – and a great contribution to life.

- And that is what my father is all about – about vibrant life and about giving back to life. My father truly lived, he embraced life in every corner, with every person and in every way.

- So thank you Dad for teaching me about life and showing me how I ought to live it. Thank you so much.

- I love you.